Blog Stage 6

Classmate Andrea Coj responded to negative judgment towards Obama’s presidency in post titled "Blog 4" on her blog on December 3rd, 2014. It is evident from the article that Coj believes Obama has been doing his best to fix our country. Coj counter argues the article by describing how Obama “[made] an immigration policy” and does a decent job explaining this one reason. However, she fails to provide any other detailed explanation on why “Obama is not a bad president.” Because of this lack of support, Coj’s argument is not credible and is weak in structure. The amount of grammatical error also subtracts from her credibility. I suggest that she fix her grammar as it takes away from her professionalism. Instead of having three body paragraphs about one incident, I advise that each paragraph be another precedent where Obama help change or fixed one of the nation’s prolonged problems. The conclusion paragraph can be completely revised because it does not concisely restate the thesis. The last sentence of the conclusion can be deleted as it is obvious what Coj’s stance is and the sentence takes away from the overall message.